Accident or planned? Oops!

Years ago my sister told me I was a mistake, being I was just a young person at the time I figured that meant I wasn't wanted. Not understanding the meaning of the word "oops". So I asked my sweet mother and she laughed and said, "Susie, you were not exactly planned but that doesn't mean we didn't learn to love you and were glad that you were our child." I thought to myself, hummmm they had to learn to love me. Kids are like that especially young teens. Now that I am much, much older I realize that I was was indeed loved and in a way I was no accident. I was sent here for a reason. Although at times I am not sure why but I feel in my soul I was meant to be. My mother had tea leaves read when she was having what we refer to as her first set of children because there was 6 yrs between the four older children and the last two my sister and I. She was told she would have 6 children and she did, the first unfortunately was stilborn. And that it would be a girl with brown eyes. Well, that was me. So someone in the universe knew I was supposed to be. Life has thrown many curve balls at me that I would much have prefered it wouldn't have but yet, I have learned from each experience and I think I am a better person because of it. You would think by the time I reached 53 I would know what I wanted to be when I grow up but, I guess I haven't grown up yet. As a child and even in my teen years my goal was to be a wife and mother, well I have been a wife many, many times and I am a mother. So I got part of the dream I was going to have the white picket fence and live happily ever after. Well, that part was where the obsticals got in the way. I did achieve my dream of graduating from College I have a Bachelor of Science degree in history, my minor was sociology. Didn't get my teaching certificate like I should have done but, that in itself is another story. So...here I am an oops that has a purpose but I still don't know what that purpose is. I don't do drugs, never got into that scene. I live a somewhat normal life. I get up every night and go to work, then go home after my shift. I have 4 adopted children only one is left at home and a granddaughter I am raising. I believe in what many have forgotten or just don't understand I believe in a kind and wise Heavenly Father that loves me, who knows my name and my needs. I don't believe he has ever walked away from me although for a time I walked away from him. I believe he knows what my purpose is. But, isn't giving me clues that I am able to diserarn. Many of you have already guessed, "Yes, I am a morman." Do I always do the right things, oops nope I don't. I make mistakes just like everyone else. And even though many times I lose faith in myself and just lose faith I know my Father in Heaven never loses faith in me. I was blessed with two natural daughters, so beautiful and amazing I can't express. That no matter what never give up hope in this old lady. Many of my adopted children don't understand me when I scold or attempt to get them to open their eyes to a better life. But, I love them regardless. Trust me being a step parent slash adoptive parent isn't easy and if you are looking for easy this is not the road you want to be on. But, I have no regrets other than I wish I could have made a difference. So, here I sit technically I am not 53 until 5:36 am but I will accept my fate what ever it may be. My body thinks it is a hundred and ten osteoarthritis all over and work injuries so that I have trouble getting around very well. But, mistake... oops what ever it is I am. I am. Therefore, I will continue to get up every night (I am a graveyard shift person) and continue on because that is all I can do. I could give up because life is beating me down right now but that wouldn't make my children proud. Or my ancestors so on I go. One day at a time. I can say I have loved and been loved by many. Have met some pretty amazing people in my 53 yrs, So, Happy Birthday to me! I made it to 53!